4 years and 9 days

[PilgrimsProgress]

Like Northwind, I clicked on this thread assuming it was about Carter.....

Firstly, I can understand your anxiety as the anniversary date approached - anniversaries affect many of us, especially anniversaries of those we have loved that have died.

As Tabby has said, now Zach will create his own milestones without being (understandably) measured against his brother.

Carter lives on in those that knew him. As for me, I only met him for one day of his too short life, but that beautiful and generous smile he greeted me with, will always remain a fond memory.......... (As will the conversation and lunch with his Dad after my visit at the hospital).

Thank you for trusting us at Wondercafe and Wondercafe 2 in sharing your "real" life and your love for your family with us.

 

[DaisyJane]

Thanks for sharing your story. I enjoyed hearing about Zach. He sounds like the kind of kid I would like!

 

[revjohn]

This milestone, as weird as it sounds, has been on my radar for some time. I've been rather fixated on it. Distractingly so.

I empathize.

As a younger man starting out in married life my biggest fear was that I was my father's son. That at some point I would prove an unfit husband and father myself. That I would make a decision, or worse, a series of decisions which ultimately betrayed those I loved the most.

I eventually (ages ago) beat my dad's personal records.

Then I began to notice a deeper problem. I had been so focused on not repeating dad's mistakes that I never really paid close attention to my own. Now some years later standing beside the grave of my dad, having presided over his funeral I found I no longer had dad as an excuse.

This group was along for the journey with Carter, but you've not heard much about Zachary. Suffice to say, no news is good news.

As much as a relief that is too you I suspect each of the rest of us are also relieved.

Carter was the anomaly.

Carter was an anomaly. I suspect if we looked at one another and ourselves more closely we would see that while apples do not always fall far from trees they sometimes benefit from a good bounce and generous slope.

Zach is an anomaly in his own way. I hope that you have many years to explore, discover and celebrate the ways in which Zach is peculiar.

So, as I think back, thanks to Wondercafe for being there during that time. You guys probably had more access to what was going on than our extended families. And your support and the presence of many of you at the funeral meant a lot.

Speaking only for myself, you are welcome. That said, happy not to have to repeat those events.

No, I haven't been drinking.

Your Premier would be very disappointed to hear that.

Kudos for you for your vulnerability without liquid courage.