So here's the thing. My late high school teen is interested in having a small group of friends over to our home. He has asked about our tolerance for alcohol at the gathering. Full disclosure - we know he has been to parties with beer/spiked punch/coolers. He and his friends are underage, are drinking at times, but generally not to excess. As a rule these are good kids who are fairly open with their liberal parents. Our rule, to date, has been that we value honesty and safety above all. We have said that he is more likely to get in trouble for lying than for being honest and talking about strategies. For example a few months ago he told us he had been invited to a party, the parents would be out (we knew the family), and there would be beer or fruity coolers. Our deal was that he could go and we understood he might experiment with some beer or a cooler but a) we asked him not to drink to excess, b) to call if either he or his friends seem to be getting into trouble/too drunk and needed help, and c) under NO circumstances get in a car with ANYONE who had been at the party even if he thought they hadn't been drinking. We shared that we appreciated his honesty about the situation and he could go the party. We figured if we didn't allow it he might lie/avoid talking about it next time. He went, had a cooler, was honest to the best of our knowledge, and we picked him up after midnight. So he has asked to have a few friends over around the end of school and noted that they would likely bring some alcohol - usually fruity coolers. Our answer has been that while we aren't thrilled about the idea, we return to our policy of safety and honesty. It's gonna happen and we'd much rather keep the teens safe and have adults available to keep some boundaries on things. Our suggested boundaries have been a) a small group of close and trusted friends- no crazy, large parties b) no driving AT ALL - everyone stays over or is picked up by a parent, c) NO use of the pool or hot tub under any circumstances if alcohol is being consumed, d) we must be onsite to help if an adult is needed, and generally reinforce boundaries, though we will make ourselves scarce. My son feels that these are fair rules and is happy to live by them. This is the first of our children where we've had to deal with this. Specialson obviously doesn't drink, and our eldest didn't/couldn't drink until he was well into legal-age because of some possible medical/drug combinations. With our eldest we knew his friends were drinking underage and we talked a lot about safety and our comfort with being called if ANYONE needed us, but we didn't have to deal with him drinking. These days he and his friend (all early 20s) enjoy craft beer and will often enjoy one with the dads - which I think is cool. So what would you do with my youngest son's request?