Mental Illness from the Other Side of the Fence

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Northwind

Northwind

Stationary nomad.
Pronouns
She/Her/Her
I suddenly realize I have a 32 year old family member who is likely experiencing a major mental illness. Since I've worked on the field for many years, I strongly suspect the illness. The professional side of me (who cannot diagnose) suspects schizophrenia. He has had a psychotic episode, has paranoia, is reclusive and apparently has delusions. Apparently there have been issues for ten years and he has been getting worse for the past five years. At the very least, he has a major depression. He was recently hospitalized for a week. This was his second hospitalization in about three months. He was going to sit down with my husband and I to talk about it. He hasn't. I'm concerned. That confidentiality thing is a pain. I obviously cannot use my professional "card" to get information. That would be wrong on many levels.

My husband and I have an appointment next week with a woman who works for the BC Schizophrenia Society. I have a lot of respect for her since she has been a colleague of sorts in the past. I'm hoping she can help us help him.

There is so much secrecy around mental illness. People who have more knowledge will say they will let him tell us what happened. He hasn't. People are afraid of him finding out we are talking behind his back. That doesn't help.

I'm hoping we can sit down and ask him about his diagnosis and treatment. This experience has taught me the importance of open communications and supports.

Does anyone else have experience with major mental illness and how to support someone who is ill?
 
I can comment from the illness side.
Give a bit of time for things to sink in. When I'm diagnosed with something, I need time to process it for myself before I share aspects with people other than those I'm really closest to (like Chemguy now). When I disagree, or dislike the particular diagnosis it's even more important.

Allow them to lead the discussion, I have felt railroaded and misheard at times, it shuts down conversation.
 
I get that. I've been there with a couple if more minor issues and have seen it in others. This is also a person who has never had much initiative. I doubt he will ever lead the conversation.
 
I was thinking about this. I also believe his illness may prevent him from taking the lead in any discussion right now.
 
How can mental illness exist when there are so many that deny the existence of the spirit of knowledge and wisdom ... thus like god ... it just isn't here now ... perhaps just drifted off a bit ... thoughts do that when interfered with by passions and emotions!

I was told I was crazy as a kid for "thinking" about things ... caused me to recess into a difficult place ... like Moses when confronted by God while in a high place. Some people disbelieve such things ... accept mistruths or altruisms as part of blind faith.

This tends to make me believe I must be crazy to be different than the rest of the world ... which is obviously crazy if you observe it closely for a bit ... leads to a theory of chaos and observation that something must be screwed-up the organ od wisdom has gone spiritual ... like a ghost ... has blown it ... kind of like pneumatics ... and hypo nautical dreams of things in a subversive pool ... a displaced spirit of wisdom ... ... enough to send one on a jihad ... a pilgrimage of looking for the lost? That'd be us folks ... we haven't a clue ...
 
I agree Luce. I suspect he is scared and withdrawing into himself. I'm not expecting him to be "normal". Whatever that is. I use the term mental illness as a way to explain, not to judge. My wish is that he can find peace of some kind and that he won't rot in a basement.
 
Nrthwind, can I wrap my arms around you, make you a cup of tea, give you a shoulder to cry on, listen to your concerns ...
I feel your pain. I care.
 
See, Seeler knows the cure ... loosing yourself in a dark cup ... sometimes a Rume will do if moderate ... a clear cup or crystal grael!
 
Northwind said:
I was thinking about this. I also believe his illness may prevent him from taking the lead in any discussion right now.
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I can understand that, it makes it all difficult. Still, give them the chance, sometimes someone will surprise you. Based on what I know about you, I don't think you're a big railroader and would be pretty understanding :)
 
Seems to me you're off to a great start Northwind, with your appoint at BCSS. It's so great that these resources have developed.

You may be right about needing to take initiative in the discussion yourself, recognizing it may be a repeated theme over time. Indicating your openess to talk about Mental Health issues in your non-judgemental way will no doubt be helpful - he may not trust it right away & will need on-going contact to come to understand you are an ally.

You may already know about the MH website - Here to Help BC - I use a lot of their resources in my work. http://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/?utm_expid=5900309-0.GcI4EG2qTY6j3M8kpHDlZQ.0
 
This is someone who at 32 manages to get people to coddle him and do things for him that he is capable of dpong. As I think back, I'm seeing things I hadn't seen before and am questioning them. Were those "headaches" that kept him in the basement really headaches or something else? What was with that brain tumor scare? Etc. He doesn't even have to whine to get people to do things for him. It's really quite amazing.

I believe we have to open the discussion. Of course that also means giving him space to respond as he feels comfortable.

Thanks for the reminder of Here to Help BC Corolla.
 
ChemGal said:
I can understand that, it makes it all difficult. Still, give them the chance, sometimes someone will surprise you. Based on what I know about you, I don't think you're a big railroader and would be pretty understanding :)
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Thanks for that suggestion. Further to what I wrote just above, if we don't open the discussion he will likely rot in the basement. He has been using his phone to play music, even in strange spots. At first I thought he was being rude by playing it so the whole store can hear it, or so the whole house can hear it. Now I am wondering if he is using it to drown out the voices. He seriously has next to zero initiative where some things are concerned.
 
Major mental illness carries with it cognitive impairment ... often of the executive functions & can be quite severe ... which frequently does result in lack of initiation despite having the 'splinter skills' (e.g. actual ablity to perform a task). So what may look like 'lack of motivation' can actually be a significant cognitive impairment. Because someone 'can do' something, it does not necessarily follow that they 'will do' it. There is still lots of misperception in this area that affect dynamics & recovery. As the whole field of neuroimaging continue to evolve, we are becoming more knowledgeable about this aspect.

You may be right about the loud music. It's so hard for me to even imagine the disturbing experience of hallucinations when I have not experienced it, only seen the outward manifestations.
 
I was just talking with my husband. He also thinks the music is to drown out the voices.

I agree about the executive function. That's what makes me think it is his illness which will stop him from initiating any discussion. Add to that the paranoia he seems to be experiencing and I can understand why he won't talk. That being said, not talking will just make him sicker. He has been able to access suitable services so has the opportunity to get helped.

I am recognizing that outreach services are so important. It is too bad that mental health is not seen as a medical priority.
 
Are there ACT Teams in his community? (Assertive Community Treatment - interprofessional - they go out to see folks wherever they are, make sure meds are being taken, life is going more or less okay, with the goal of sustaining people outside of hospital).
 
There is a mental health worker at the local mental health program. He has been assigned to that caseload. I think that person can do some outreach. I suspect he hasn't had his first appointment yet. He missed an appointment with someone at that office. They called to follow-up so that is good.

When we fully move to Alberta he will have access to a more broad-based team that would be similar to ACT.
 
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I was thinking about this more, and about the stigma around mental illness. It really looks different from this perspective. I've always felt that we need to speak out more to challenge the stigma. I'm glad that things like Robin Williams death or other famous people with mental illness has gotten people talk to some degree.

This person has been sleeping a LOT lately. He just had his meds adjusted and that was a factor. He has realized he can't sleep his life away and is making himself get up and do things. He helped repair a closet door and has done some other helpful fix it things. He is very good at that kind of thing.
 
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