1. Welcome to Wondercafe2! You are here and we are glad. Enjoy your time. Please visit the Tips & Techniques forum, especially the thread Basic Posting & Forum Info, to learn more about how to use the site.
    Dismiss Notice

Ability to ignore stuff

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Pinga, May 17, 2018.

  1. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    There are some days when I can ignore snide comments, or snarky ones, or the poking and cajoling.

    There are other days, when I can't.
     
  2. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    Today is one of those days. I had to absorb snide & snarky comments for close to 2 hours in a call. I had to smile and grin.
    I had to direct others to also accept it.

    Why? we needed buy-in from an individual. Disagreeing or presenting an alternate viewpoint would not have helped. if anything, it would have just extended the pain.

    So, on a day like today, when myself and our team accepted blame and criticism for 1.5 hrs, while we sought agreement to move forward.....I found my tolerance for such in this site is extra low.

    I wonder, do others feel the same? Are there days that you can just ignore certain behaviours and other days where certain points driving you crazy?
     
  3. Mrs.Anteater

    Mrs.Anteater no anteater, but German wild boar

    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    1,220
    2 hrs of such? You must be a saint.
     
    Carolla likes this.
  4. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    As an agent of change, on projects which are often forced upon people, I am used to their stresses.

    I also recognize that due to other circumstances, the individual had the right to note their frustration. No denial. There were errors and omissions.

    I am not a saint.

    I just know that sometimes, it doesn't matter if you say anything, all it will do is cause more spin, and another meeting.

    ************
    In a way, it is like when I respond to a snarky post.
    I know that I should ignore. I know that by stepping into a post / response, that it isn't going to get better.

    Yet, there are days, it is really really hard to ignore.

    *******************
    Does anyone else have those days?
     
  5. Carolla

    Carolla wondering & wandering

    Messages:
    5,328
    Likes Received:
    4,099
    I definitely have those days! Just being human I guess. But now I'm tired, so I'm going to shut off this computer & go to bed!!
     
    BetteTheRed and Pinga like this.
  6. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    And that, dear folks, is a great suggestion.
     
    Carolla and BetteTheRed like this.
  7. BetteTheRed

    BetteTheRed Resident Heretic

    Messages:
    9,680
    Likes Received:
    6,200
    Computers are easy-ish to turn off. Even smart phones. But the messages do not go away, lol...
     
    Pinga likes this.
  8. ChemGal

    ChemGal One with keen eye

    Messages:
    9,241
    Likes Received:
    2,730
    I have those days and then days where things have reached the point where I'm the snarky one.
     
    Pinga likes this.
  9. Lastpointe

    Lastpointe Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,652
    Likes Received:
    1,089
  10. Luce NDs

    Luce NDs Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    30,868
    Likes Received:
    3,041
    And they say humans are fey and flippant ... like Christ's Koin ...

    As the light in the unknown ... is the unknown patient because it is not here in the emotional state we live? God is elsewhere at present ...

    Where is present? As a time it moves too ...
     
  11. Seeler

    Seeler Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    5,720
    Likes Received:
    4,396
    I think that when we have to endure s**t from someone and cannot answer back, we all have a tendency to lash out at the next available target.

    When our kids were little I remember one of them reminding the other to 'keep out of Mom and Dad's way; they are paying the bills.' Meaning that we were discussing (arguing, fighting) about monthly expenses and prioritizing our plans for the coming month. Not a good time to be whining or demanding attention.
    It might be good advice for all of us at times. If we feel under pressure, or if we know someone else who might be, take some time to withdraw - busy ourselves with some other unrelated task, watch a movie, or go to bed.
     
    Luce NDs likes this.
  12. Luce NDs

    Luce NDs Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    30,868
    Likes Received:
    3,041
    Lashing out ... a latent syndrome ... a good resolution relaxation syndrome ... before it becomes pandemic ...
     
  13. Jae

    Jae Will Accept if Nominated

    Messages:
    26,798
    Likes Received:
    3,304
    I feel that stress and fatigue can have negative effects on just about all of us - making many of us prone to be more snarky - making many of us overly sensitive to snark. Sometimes people even see snarkiness where none was intended.
     
  14. Luce NDs

    Luce NDs Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    30,868
    Likes Received:
    3,041
    Some wear it rye as an unconscious emotion!
     
  15. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    @Jae for some it is the exception.

    For others, they are regularly asshats

    The difference could be personality or chronic behaviour challenges or some other condition
     
  16. Jae

    Jae Will Accept if Nominated

    Messages:
    26,798
    Likes Received:
    3,304
    I've met some people in real life who I'd say fall into your latter category.
     
  17. KayTheCurler

    KayTheCurler Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,064
    Likes Received:
    2,725
    I think it is all part of being human. I also think that a small child lurks inside each of us.
    It sounds from the OP that this harangue was job based which would really limit your options. If it was personal you would have the option of saying something like "I will consider your viewpoint - but for now I'm hanging up".
     
  18. Pinga

    Pinga Room for All

    Messages:
    7,896
    Likes Received:
    4,193
    Correct job based and not an employee
     
  19. Inannawhimsey

    Inannawhimsey M&M, Cascadian Lovers

    Messages:
    8,519
    Likes Received:
    2,596
    Willpower?
    I've read some of the latest research on Willpower
    Seems to indicate that Willpower isn't like a muscle but more like a fuel tank
    Where even when we're not aware of it our Willpower can drop
    So when we resist our urges, like to eat that cake, our Willpower drops

    There's also a cool podcast; just 1 season; tis called "The Habitat". It follows the participants of a NASA mars colonization study where the participants live for a year in the conditions of living on mars in cramped isolating and very boring quarters. A specialist talks aboot a human behaviour that he has observed to be similar among the various experiments is that the participants change drastically at 6 months and he thinks it is because for the 1st 6 months everyone has some kind of barrier that resists the many tiny insults or annoyances from other people. At 6 months that protective barrier breaks.

    F'me I notice if I don't get enough sleep I am more likely 2 b bitchy the next day. Any book that I read I find myself emotionally emulating for the day; so a positive book I feel positive, a dark brooding book...that. I also remember a long time after an incident that turned my world upside down I was anxious and hoardy and supervigilant...

    Just some thoughts
     
  20. Luce NDs

    Luce NDs Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    30,868
    Likes Received:
    3,041
    When will as a power is exhausted ... you are out of here in a flash ... in spirit like the roadrunner ... a relation to mockingbird and nighthawks ... wren's d out of the trees as nymphs? Totems or alternate icons as projections of images in thought!
     

Share This Page